Our morning trip to Morrilton

So we decided that we needed to go get some yardsale stuff early this morning from Morrilton. Eugene bought this stuff already and we just hadn't had time to go to pick the stuff up. I am on a 2 week vacation and Eugene is on a 1 week vacation so this is our week to do all the stuff we can't normally get done.

But after getting out of the driveway we had to make a pit stop across the street to get gas and air up a tire or 2.

This is downhill on I430 North to the Arkansas River.

This is the morning sun over the river. Isn't it pretty.

Uhmm.. this was actually before we got to the Arkansas River.

They had to cut out the side of the mountain to put in the Interstate.

Brandon and Eugene arguing about how to stack the boxes to keep them from flying out.

This is the building where we got the stuff from in Morrilton. It is right next to the train tracks along Hwy 65.

Here they are finishing up.

We got a lot of stuff.

Most of it will go in the yard sale I am going to have Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I rummaged through the stuff to get things I wanted. That is one of the perks of being the wife, I get to pick through and keep things. I found a nice comforter and electric blanket and a couple of pillows I wanted. I also found a few kitchen items we can use. We also have this humungus picture. So if you are on Chico Road and go far enough out to Sawmill Road that goes back to East End, you will find me set up at Garys BBQ on the corner. Getting back into buying and selling is a great way to meet people. I'll post more pictures later.

Sunday

     So Hello, Again. Nothing good to talk about. Nothing really happening in my life. Taking care of my mom. Had to take her to emergency room last week on Friday because she was having chest pains and now she had is horrible rash on her back, we are doctoring with triple antibotic. It seems to be working. My job is going good. Like I said before, I think I'll just stay put and concentrate more on my writing. We are trying to get our trailer from Clayton Mobile Homes. Here is a link to the one I want http://www.claytonhomes.com/home_details.cfm?modelno=31SEV16764TH#showfloorplan
      It is a four bedroom with the living room added to the front. It's called the Serria Vista w/Tag. I think we can make it work on our land. We have to go servey the area where it will go to make sure. There are lots of little things we got to do to get it ready. Like bring in three or four loads of dirt to level it out and pour concrete. We also need a plumber to find our sewer tank. We are not sure where it is. We'll also need an electrician to hook up the pole to the trailer. Clayton doesn't provide that service. They will only provide a heat and air guy for the central heat and air and hot water heater.
The less we have to finance - the better. We need lots of money to do all this so that is why we are taking our time. I was just wanting a repo but it's hard to finance a repo. Plus I want a home that I will love to live in everyday.
     I was going to add some pictures on here but the button doesn't seem to be working. I'll post more later on our progress.

Death

Hello again,    I want to share something with you. I like to find new things on the Internet. I like to keep my mind busy. I have found that my job at the place I work is just that - work. I am stagnant. I am content. I enjoy what I do and because I know everything there is to know about what I do - at work- at least I think so, I am complacent. I have to find stimulation from other things. I have to find places away from work to keep my mind up-to-date with the world so I go searching on the Internet.
   I wanted to go back to school. To take some courses in an area that would help my work situation but after considerable analysis of what it would take - I decided to pursue my desires and talents in my writing. Writing has become a very valuable part of my life and I share it with all of you who read my writings. I have no clue who reads them. I have no clue as to what you think. Heck, I have no clue if my writing is worthy of being published on this blog but I do know that I the desire I have to write overrides any other inclination of pursuing any remote possibility of trying to get ahead in my work area at work. To me - this is what I wish my job was although I do my current job really well. 

    So hear you go. A link to a philosophy class at Yale University. It is FREE. I love free stuff. It is educational. And although it's not a writing class or literature class it is a class that made me want to think. Go to http://oyc.yale.edu/philosophy/death  The instructor is very unique and easy to listen to as a lecturer.

Like all classes there is a syllabus http://oyc.yale.edu/philosophy/death/content/syllabus and he has all these things to read. I do believe this subject will make everyone think and the cool thing about Yale is it has videos of the instructor giving the class  You can go to this website http://oyc.yale.edu/philosophy/death/content/downloads to download each or just go to Youtube to watch it online without downloading. I have downloaded the first 5 classes because I want to take time to watch them and have them to watch over in case I miss something.

So here you go - some links to free classes to keep you thinking. If you are anything like me, then you don't have time to attend a three hour class each week but having this available, even though you don't get credit, to listen to and read at your leisure is awesome.

On this syllabus he has some books you need to read. The first one is called Richard Wright, Black Boy (American Hunger) (Harper Perennial Restored edition, 1993) 1945  and I looked on Amazon so here is the book.















The second one is Flannery O'Connor, Wise Blood (Farrar, Straus and Giroux) 1949














The next on is Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita (Vintage) 1955














I guess I could go on with this list but check out the course syllabus for the rest. I am going to watch his first lecture tonight and may try to give some feedback for this blog. Or I may even abandon this whole idea and pick another course or I may not even do it at all.  I guess we will see.

Curmudgeon - What the ?

cur·mudg·eon/kərˈməjən/

Noun: A bad-tempered or surly person. 

Dictionary.com - Answers.com - Merriam-Webster - The Free Dictionary

 

Check out these links for a word I never heard of before.

 

Curmudgeon  A definition

Curmudgeon Another definition for the word.

Mathcurmudgeon   This is a blog dedicated to it.

Curmudgeon This is another blog dedicated to the word.

Curmudgeons And we have this blog dedicated to the word too.

If you don't believe me, just Google it.

Monday Madness

Monday's. Monday's Monday's. Who likes them? Who hates them? It's alway a long drawn out day. Can't be over fast enough. If Monday's were Tuesday's would we hate them as much? If Wednesday's were Friday's would we like Monday's more?

According to Wikipedia Monday means the following:

Monday (pronounced /ˈmʌndeɪ, ˈmʌndi/ ( listen)) is the day of the week between Sunday and Tuesday. According to international standard ISO 8601 it is the first day of the work week. According to the internationally accepted civil calendar, the Islamic calendar and the Hebrew calendar, Sunday is the first day of the week. It is derived from Old English Mōnandæg and Middle English Monenday, which means "moon day".

It doesn't tell you much but neither am I. Next weeks word is . . . well, I don't know yet. . .  but check back with me and I'll find some osbsure unimportant word to make you think.

My Little Red

It's just a Friday

Friday. You may be wondering why I am able to write on a Friday since I work. Well, I work four tens so I get this day to do all the stuff, like going to the doctor, that I need to do without taking off to build time up. I do love it. I really don't want to give it up unless I got a better paying job. I really love my job. I have been doing it for ten years now. Seems like a long time but it is interesting. Things change. People come and go but I have somehow managed to become stagnet. So maybe what I do is where I need to stay becasuse the more I try to get away the more attached I have become to my work. Can you feel this way about your job? Do you feel this way about your job? Have you ever felt this way about a job? I think it is mostly because I am able to do this - blogging - blogging about life, blogging about things I find, blogging about blogging. And also writing - writing stories - writing things and finding out how people respond to me - as a person who wrote a story. So my job satisfaction is high. So my marriage satifaction is high. So my family life, well it could be better. Two out fo three ain't bad.

So it's just a Friday. One good thing is I get to spend time talking to my mom. I have learned a lot from her but mostly I have learned I am just like her. I talked with her on the porch under a waterhose while washing my little doggies. Since I got this laptop, I have no use for my desktop except to play games. I set it up in the dinning/utility/closet/junk room on my computer desk I can't fit in our room anymore. I showed her how to use WordPad. She said she will sit down and write out her life. I look forward to reading what she writes and help her edit it or whatever. I may even try to publish it. If my high school english teacher can write about her life, why can't my mom or even me?

So that's all I got to say today. I am going to borrow a movie from Serina because there sure isn't nothing good on tv.

Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

After reviewing other peoples blogs, it seems they try to make a theme about the days of the week. So I am going to call this Whatcha Doin' Wednesday's.

So what cha doin'?

What am I doing? Wondering what I am going to do. I went to work today. Came home, ate and now I'm on here looking at facebook and checking my email.

Maybe I'll post links of things I find interesting. Maybe I'll post videos. Maybe I'll just talk about things on my mind. I'm not sure right now.

Check back with me and I'll get back to you.

Do you have a suggestion for me? Leave me a comment. Please?

A need to rant a little

Hello world,
   I have come to the conclusion that my life is what it is and I can't change it. I have to take what I am given and make the most of it. Trying to change is hard work and I have failed in so many areas it is pitiful. I want so much to give you the facts but because there is this nag in the back of my head saying "If you complain, you will get in trouble. If you tell the world exactly how you feel, you will be condemned." You may call this your conscious or unconscious. What ever it is, I wish that the fear of what is saying is true wasn't true.
     How can I tell you about me in truth? I was not the little girl in the dress who participated in beauty pageants. I wasn't that straight A popular girl. I also wasn't a tomboy by no means. I didn't wear a dress but playing with cars in the dirt with my little brother or we sat at the kitchen table where mom would spread out flour for us to make roads. Either way it was hard to get the cars clean. The dirt turned to mud and the flour to doe. So my truth comes out in the stories I tell.
     I can tell a lie with in the truth of a story so much that you may think that it really happened to me but did it really? I can write a story but I can't tell you a story. I can't talk to you and tell you a lie. Ain't that funny? Lying on paper is not a lie but if I speak it - I will be imprisoned by my own nag.
     So what are writers? Writers are liars. Writers stretch the truth and make it so twisted that it turns into a lie. I am just talking about fiction writers not nonfiction - to clarify myself. So if a writer tells a story that is a lie and I write stories does that make me a liar?
     To write truth is nonfiction. I speak the truth but write fiction. I can tell you on paper words that my heart can only wish was true. I used to have a bad habit of writing things to my ex. I say it was a bad habit but I had a hard time talking to him. I would write him notes and leave it next to him when he slept. When we fought and he slept on the couch, we were both to stubborn so I wrote. He wrote me back. Communication in words didn't seem to work for us. I can't remember what I wrote or he wrote to me but I'm sure it was some hurtful stuff. Communication is words was not something I was good at in school either. I would challenge myself not to talk all day but I would get called upon by the teacher to answer a question and that was that. But I was able not to communicate with my peers. I didn't want to talk and found it easy to do. Nobody noticed me anyways. So that's how I found writing.
     My son is just the opposite. Like his father - he can tell you how the cow eats cabbage. He can explain the theory of anything. Writing is not his thing. So are you a writer or a talker? Tell me is it really so bad that I am a writer and not a talker? If I could be like Emily Dickinson, I would. I didn't discover her poetry until college. I had to read "I heard a fly buzz by". She cut herself off from the world and wrote poetry. I'm not a poet and I know it. So now you know a little more about me and this is the truth, all nonfiction.
     I'm not a princess although I did believe in White Knights to come save me.
     I'm not a nerd although I maybe able to convey the hint that I am in my wordiness.
     I'm not a model although my husband would argue with you. I'm just a BBW.

     I am a thinker. I am a liar on paper (computer). I am a dog lover, cats are okay but they aren't as loyal. I am a woman who doesn't cover her feelings, if you hurt them I will let you know. I am a perfectionist but putting things off until later works better for me if it's not a crisis. And I guess the final question is do I believe in GOD? Do I think I will go to Heaven or Hell? Do I believe in ghost? Do I believe in spirits? These are all good questions and my answer is yes and no. How can I believe in a GOD without believing in Heaven, Hell, ghost and spirits? I think I will let this be a topic for another day.

And one more thing, don't lie to me or I'll never believe you again.

These pictures should explain themselves

A Friday hanging out at my Local Library

     I took the time to go to my local library, Dee Brown Library on Baseline in Southwest Little Rock. Upon entering, my attention fell upon a yellow sign. With a yellow sun in the top left corner and the Central Arkansas Library System Logo on the bottom right, the words were printed in different colors.

Sidewalk

 Book Sale!

August 11 & 12
at Dee Brown Library

Wednesday, Aug 11th: 10 am to 2 pm

Thursday, Aug 12th: 10 and to 2 pm

Hardbacks: $1

Paperbacks: .50 cents

All proceeds benefit Dee Brown

Library's programs for kids & teens

I was quite impressed, No misspelled words and perfect punctuation but I do expect that from a library.
     If I can get away from work and have a couple of extra dollars, I'll go see what kind of treasures they will be selling. If I can get a hold of some of my favorite authors or books, that I wish I could read without the limited time frame by just checking it out from the library, would be a bargain. I know that main library downtown has book sales but I never seem to get to attend them.
     The local library has good programs catered to children so I fit in just fine because I am still a kid at heart. I wanted to browse to see if I could find any books that would just catch my eye and after 5 minutes I found a book called "Speed it Up!" A non-technical guide for speeding up slow computers by Michael Miller Copyright 2009. After looking through it, I thought it might help my 2 year old desktop that I haven't even turned on in a month after getting it repaired.
    






      I wondered over to the fiction section to see if any of them caught my eye. I couldn't find any books other than one book by Marcus Sakey "The Blade Itself" so maybe I'll just have to check online to see if I can reserve something of his from another library.        
    









      Unusually noisy children came in for some kind of program so I just headed over to the shelf with the videos. One video that came from TV is Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan. I loved to watch it but I haven't seen it in a while but that maybe because we don't have Animal Planet. I also picked up "The Virtual Job Interview" Why? Well, it's because I want to know how to go through the interview process and actually get the job. At the check out I also got a FREE Green Bag to tote my books and DVDs.

     So that's about it except for a couple of free magazines in the hallway. The Arkansas Times and The Book Page.
     What is available at your local library? If you don't like to read, you can check out audio books or DVDs. Another thing you may not know is they have computers. Yes, you have to reserve a computer for a limited hour but you can take your laptop and plug in for totally Free HighSpeed Internet.

 It is all totally FREE!

And they had also given me this FREE magnet to put my receipt in to keep up with when I need to return the books.

"My Thing is" VS "Yea, but"

"You know what I think Maryjane?" Sarah mutterred after swallowing a mouth full her crunchy chef salad.



"No, what?" She followed by a big gulp of her diet canned coke.


"My thing is if you don't have the common sense to do it right the first time don't do it at all." Swaying her fork in the air as if she was going to stab Maryjane's cherry tomato.


"Yea, but lots of people don't have common sense Sarah." She said while placing her coke perfectly blocking Sarah's birdseye view of her apple cider vinager covered ham salad.


"I know but my thing is I'm not going to do it if I know I can't." Spoke while templing her hands neatly in front of her face.


"Yea, but how are you going to know unless you try?" She asked as she leaned into the conversation.


"Well, you have a point there. If it's something you haven't done before why try though? My thing is that it is pointless to try." Her falsetto voice raised as she leaned back in her seat.


"Yea, but there are lots of things that don't require common sense that you could do right the first time." Maryjane took another swig of her diet refreshment.


"Oh, true. So very true. But you know what Maryjane? My thing is ignorance is bliss."

A day with Arleen

First of all, I want to say - Ignore the date on the bottom right hand corner of the pictures you are about to see. And for that matter, ignore the first thing that comes into your mind when viewing the pictures. You shouldn't be so critical of others.



I didn't have a mission today. I have my Friday's off. Working 4/10 makes long days but I love it. I can do lots of other things on Friday's but I haven't seemed to have found a regular thing to do except visit my SIL, sister-in-law. Let me tell you some things about her. She is older than me. She is opinionated like me, she is from New York, a yankee like me and she enjoys other peoples company more than me.
Arleen needed someone to go to the dentist again with her to drive back home. I took a few pictures along the way.

She set her GPS for her doctor and we went on her way with a stop at her mailbox. It's about half a mile away and took far for her to walk.

She asked if I got a picture of the cute guy on the fourwheeler - but I missed him.

                                                                                                                                Along the way we had to stop a red light in west Little Rock.

I had to take a few pictures again and while she brushed her teeth driving irradically.

Her GPS kept talking to her as she drove. Saying stupid stuff but mainly telling her where to turn. I do honestly believe she would be lost without it.

I waited around for her to get done and visited a couple of stores in the strip mall. A toy store which peeked my interest for about 15 minutes. I looked around and was really amazed at how much new stuff there is for kids now days. I even comptemplated coming back to this store to by everybody toys for Christmas until I took closer looks at the prices. Toys are not cheap. I didn't take any pictures even though I wanted to. Then I visited the bike shop next door. There were lots and lots of bikes. High dollar bikes. Even one with a double seat like you saw on "Three's Company." Looking back, I think that was the first sitcom to portray a strait man playing a strait man protraying a gay character. I can't recall any other sitcom that made gay funny like John Ritter could. Now back to what I was saying, I wondered if they still make simple bikes and they do but they still cost as much as $300. I can say they are honestly not the kind you get at Walmart.


I waited around and waited around. Messed around in her vehicle. Then went back in to watch Disney Channel on the flat screen hanging on the wall. Finally, she came out. I got to drive. After setting her GPS for the closest bank, I drove around missing my turns (whispering "On purpose to make the squirrel talk" but that is just between you and me) After listening to her GPS talk to me in the squirrel voice, I realize that even though it is useful if you don't know where you are going you really don't need it if you do know where you are going.


After our trip and returning to her house to eat supper, I took mom back home with me and stopped at the Harvest Foods in East End. I saw on the rack a magazine for free. I totally love free things and will pick them up just because it is free. But this particular magazine peeked my interest because Robin Lowrey Richardson, formerly on Todays THV in the Morning was on the cover once and she would talk about it on the show. It is called "Little Rock Family" magazine. But what really caught my eye was the words on the cover. "*13 Local Blogs You Should Be Reading" and then right below it "Kyran Pittman Mother, Blogger, Author". I picked up 2 of them because I knew my mom or even my sister would want to read it and I didn't want to share my copy. Hey, did I tell you it was f-r-e-e?


So now, I am home. I open it and find the pages for the 13 blogs I should be reading.


1. www.damnyoulittlerock.com by Kerri Jackson Case
2. www.bootsmcblog.com by JoBeth "Boots" mcElhanon
3. www.karlandkat.com by Kat Hills
4. www.chasingmybees.com by Savannah Butler
5. www.notestoself.us by Kyran Pittman
6. www.erberadaisydiaries.com by Melissa mcCurdy
7. www.thebeedot.com by Amy Bradley-Hole
8. www.jollygoodegal.com by Jerussalem Greer
9. www.tiedyetravels.com by Kat Robinson
10. www.beingryanbyrd.com by Ryan Byrd
11. www.thedramatic.com by Sarabeth Jones
12. www.inarkansas.com/blogs/the-juggling-act by Natalie Ghidotti
13. www.dennie.org by Tara Dennie

After looking up all these blogs, I found most of them use Blogger just like me. A couple use WordPress. They spend a lot of time blogging. Blogging is more than just a hobby. It can turn into a full time job. For the lady on the cover, Kyran, to get a book deal must have been a dream. I can only hope that that would happen to me.


So now I have a goal. A new goal that could possible get me to where I wanna be. I want to be an author. Blogger appears to be a good start. Like most of these woman, I have something to say. I want to be heard. I want to be more than just a redneck from a small town from a family of nobody's. To prove how redneck I am, I drive my husbands 83-84-85 GMC rusted pick-up with a 2 1/2 - 45 airconditioner to work rather than my aircondioned car which I don't trust anymore because the "Check Engine" light is on which scares me. And I am from a small town, Sheridan. And the family of nobody's because we haven't had any famous relatives since Daniel Boone and yes, we can prove it with the family tree my sister, so dilengently, researched.


Please look up the links for the websited of these ladies. Not that they need more readers but let them know you found them on my website.


thanks for reading, until next time, blogging for life

Something to think about

I was on my way to work yesterday when I passed something on the side of the road. I was like "What was that?" Eventhough no one was with me in the truck, I took the time to answer myself by saysing "I'm gonna go back and see what that was."

I pulled over to the side of the road and waiting for a couple of cars to pass before turning around. I slowed down to look closer and decided to go on down and turn around so I could pull over to take a picture. What I saw kind of amused me that someone would take the time to do this and they must be intelligent because none of the words where misspelled like I would find with lots of signs strangers post on the sides of the road.

After getting out my handy camera on my cell phone and zooming in, I took a picture. Then took another picture of the whole thing.

I was surprised that someone would do this. I went on to work that day. I shared this with my sister who published these pic's on her blog for today's THV http://www.todaysthv.com/default.aspx

Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the link for Pit Bull Attack by DietCola.

If this is true, then this would be the second time a Saline County Officer shot a dog on our road. A while ago, on down the road, someone called the police because this lady had some pit bulls and one got out. Another neighbor said on TV that she saw him shoot the dog for no reason. Did this happen again?

I am not sure, I have no opinion on this matter. I just want to know what is going on in our community. I live in rural Saline County. The country living is not what it used to be. We recently had a neighbor die in another neighbors yard over something . I wanted to get out of the city to get away from crime but it seems to be following us.

Are we safe anywhere we live? In this day and age, it's not the 80's anymore, I can't leave my car unlocked even in the country. We even had someone steal scrap metal out of our yard in broad daylight.

I think that this is something that needs to be address by the newspaper or tv. Nothing surprises me much anymore. What do you think?

My first document created online.

 My first document created online.

I am back online.

Welcome back. To me that is. I finally got my desktop computer fixed. And I got a wireless modem from AT&T.
The motherboard crashed, as did the processor and my CD drive was messed up. Good thing I got warrenty. It cost me $14 to send by Fed X. They fixed and returned all at no cost to me.
I also have a laptop on the way from Purchasing Power. Things are better now except that the car wants to start messing up. I only have a few more payments. If your luck is anything like mine, as soon as something is close to being paid for it breaks down. I think we have a hose leaking to the radiator which is something to be expected with this heat.
I plan on posting a lot more now. So thanks for reading and I will try to give you something entertaining to read.

What I did on Saturday April 10

What I did last Saturday was go to the Annual Literary Festival in Downtown Little Rock. I wish had taken pictures. I wish had had more time to visit more of the stuff that was there but at least I was able to attend 2 workshops.

The first workshop was held by a writer named Marcus Sakey http://www.marcussakey.com  His first novel is called "The Blade Itself" ( I am actually at my local library where I am going to check out his book). I'm sure he would appreciate me buying the book more so but right now - the library is the best place to read books for free. In my opinion he is a very good-looking fellow and is as sharp as an ice pick.  I learned a lot of valuable information from him on how to get published. The name of the workshop was called "Secrets on getting published."  First of all I need an agent. Any agents out there willing to be my agent? - just drop me a line, otherwise I guess I'll just have to search on my own. But if you will go to his page and click on the tab for Readers & Writers, you will find a lot of valuable information.

The second workshop I attended which was just so conveniently held right after the first one in the same room, so I was actually able to sit at the table in a chair, was just as valuable. In fact, the speaker Mr. Hoy was from southern Arkansas but is now teaching in New York as an English Professor (I think). But he was speaking on the subject of "How to write an Essay" but in better terms it is actually called The Familiar Essay.

Well, I had a wonderful time being around smart people. I wished I could have attended other speakers who were there to tell about their books. But next year, I will be prepared. I know that I will definitely need to bring a note book and money.

Easter Sunday

It is Easter but it doesn't feel like it. It was really nice weather today for a change. We didn't do the Sunday Church thing like most of the folks who never go except this one Sunday of the year. We usually reserve Sunday for relaxing at home to catch up on rest from working all week.
I spent my Saturday reading a book. Reading a book by my high school English teacher. After reading the book, I realize that my dream of writing a book is not far from my reach. She wrote it about her life growing up and we found out that she is a great aunt to my nephew. Now I totally understand why he is like he is.

By my 45th birthday, I want to have a book written and published. I have been working on some story lines but my computers mother board when ka-put and I have to use this laptop which I'm not sure is totally realible either. But if anyone out there wants to know about my life, I will probably write about it when I get old and most of the family has passed away.
So in the mean time, I will continue to write and post stuff to Triond and write short stories about little things. This blog reflects my current life so I need to write about things happening to us now.

Brandon is working part-time for Service Master where Eugene works. Serina also works at Service Master and got the full-time job Eugene did at the health department. A neighbor boy named Jonathan has moved into the house. He shares a bedroom with Brandon and Brian. Brian has gone on the road with a circus. Brandon hangs out with his buddy named Brandon because he drives and they are like Sans and Tommy used to be growning up. Tommy is like a brother. I have know him since he was in diapers. They have been friends and brothers. Theresa continues to take care of mom. Mom still has a cast on her foot due to the diabetic ulser on the back of her heel. She first had a red cast, then a yellow cast, then a pink cast and now a blue cast. I am also going to work for the census bureau at the end of the month going part-time door to door. I am going to save the money to put a down payment on a trailer for our land. Life at the house has been less caotic since Brian has been leaving more. I go to my brothers house just to get on the internet and I play that addictive Sims game on the TV and play another game on my phone called Chuzzle that I downloaded from the internet. So this is my life in nut shell. A house full of nuts and no nut cracker in sight.

Okay, I wanted to share something with everyone that makes me look so old.

It is my gray hair. It makes me look like a skunk.

I gotta go some hair dye.

Friday March 26th

Hi everyone, I am spending the day at my brothers house hanging out with my sister-in-law Arleen. My brother is at work so it is just us and her son, Chaz. I forgot the power cord on my computer so I am having to use my brothers lap top. I had brought my desktop computer over here so I could get the updates from her wireless internet but I had problems booting it.
             It is an Acer and still covered under warranty. I called customer service and we tried to trouble shoot it over the phone but nothing worked. The power light came on the desk top and it acted like it wanted to boot but failed. Also the monitor received no signal and the keyboard had no lights on it either when I punched the Num Lock Key.  So after trying all these different things to make it work -  it didn't. Turns out the Motherboard is gone. I thought I might be having problems before but I guess it just totally went when I moved it. So I hope my hard drive is okay because I have a lot of information on it. And I didn't have it backed up. I had bought Brandon a T1 external hard drive but he never backed up my system. So now, I have to send it by Fed-ex to Texas. I have to pay the shipping but they will fix it and mail it back to me good as new.
              I have been off work the past couple of days. Doing cleaning at home but I still have a lot to do. I needed time off. I have been working really hard so this is a welcome break. I took Eugene to work so I could get some coffee and picked the boys up some donuts. The boys include my son, Brandon, and his friends - Jonathan, Big Brandon and Michael. Big Brandon is Brandon's friend, Dillions, older brother, who drives by the way, and then there is Jonathan. Jonathan is another long story and also Michael, aka Red, he is actually the son of a girl I went to school with who I did not know personally because she was in one grade lower than me.   So then,  Arleen came to the house and followed me back to Eugene's work so we could go together to Pulaski Tech. I want to go back to school this fall. I got some paperwork and I have to get my transcript from UAM. Hopefully I won't have to take some of the classes over again.
               I want to take some classes in Office Supervision and Management. I hope it can help me further my career. I don't know why but I am one of those people who just loves to learn new things. I have my job pretty much mastered and I have learned a lot about how to learn. Learning on the job is something they don't teach you in school. School can give you the education about knowing things but actual job experience gives you the how and why of what works and applying those things you learned.
I am not usually the type of person who talks about themselves but blogging is giving me the opportunity to tell you about me and who I am. (Tooting my own Horn)   I am always striving to be a better person. I am always looking for new ways to put the old me behind me. 
           Who was I?   I was Shy. I was embarrassed. I felt I was not good enough. I felt I was not pretty enough. I felt like I was talked about badly. I was scared to talk to strangers. I was afraid of different kinds of people. I kept things to myself.
          I think that my mind still tells me I am some of those things but my spirit is telling me differently. I am still shy to an extent and now if people want to talk about me, I think that is a good thing, because it keeps them from talking about other people. I don't mind people talking about me as much as I used to. It used to make me paranoid to know people shut up when I entered a room because they were talking about me.
          I wanted to write a little story about how you are talked about and the fact you may not even know it but when I sat down to write - I couldn't think of a thing to say. Do you know that complete strangers maybe talking about you and you wouldn't even know it. Scary huh?
         I am also going to tell you about what I mean when I say my spirit is telling me differently. Maybe it is the fact that I am at Arleens house and on the way to Pulaski Tech she was telling about how the spirit is now opening doors at her house. I am sitting here in her living room and I have only experienced one thing a month or so ago. My brother was sitting in this very chair and I could smell cigarette smoke. Nobody smokes in the house. She said she was sitting on Chaz's bed the other day watching him play his game when his door opened on it's own. She says her printer will just turn off on it's own when she is in the middle of printing something. She also said that he (the spirit) likes it when his daughters (my sister and I) are here. Now can you know these things? and how do you know if they are true or not? Some people would not believe it and think it is totally scientific and there is a reason but others would be like "totally awesome."
             Me, I am a sceptic. Except this one time I had this experience and it was so totally real. I have a half brother that is also a cousin. (Long story) He lives in Illinois and has a wife with three children. They came to visit us some years back when we lived on Olive Street in North Little Rock. This house we rented with my mom was definitely haunted. Arleen saw things. Brandon saw things. and I experienced a few other things myself. But this one night was totally an experience I will never forget. It was their last night before they had to head north. I had not had the opportunity to just sit down and visit with Darrin (my half brother) until their last night. We talked about lots of things but when he talked and I tried to concentrate on his words all I could hear in my head was the words "I LOVE YOU"  Darrin talked about growing up, fishing, and other things but it was like this voice was so loud and I could only hear certain things he said. He sat there and smoked cigarettes like dad used to. He sat in the chair like my dad used to. His mannerisms was so my dad but if you put us side by side, we probably look more like twins. And also more alike than my sister and me and my brother and me.
            So based on that one experience alone I should not be a sceptic. But that is not the only experience I have had. My dad would come back in my dreams too. He appeared younger and youger everytime and always came to take my mom away. My sister and my brother had dreams about him too. Also when my father-in-law, Leo, died, which is Eugene's father, I used to drive to Monticello and when I passed the cemetary where he is, I would have to stop. Some how he talked to me when I drove alone. So I shouldn't be a sceptic.
         So this is my life. A life I want to share with the world. I want to know how other people are and that I am not different but in reality I am. I do things backwards. I think to hard. I want to be liked by everyone. I want to get the most out of everyday.But deep down inside, this spiritual side of me knows there is more to life. I don't seem to be tested as much as others like my classmates, one of which has died at 42, another when we were in 12th grade, and another who has been diagnosed with cancer for the second time.
        So what else could I possible say that would make you like me? Nothing, take me as I am. I am who I am and if you don't like me. "Oh well, you'll get over it."

Another Sunday

We have been going over to my brothers house to help him build onto his shed. Well, I'm not helping but Eugene is helping. It is pretty neat.

From afar the add on doesn't look bad.

All his stuff fit underneath.

This is my brother Sans. I asked him what the black stuff was and he told me it is stuff for a garden and I asked him why he had it and this is what he told me...

See right above the bumper, the black strip? That is the stuff. He said there was a gap and it looked tacky so he covered it up with the garden stuff.

My brother can do lots of things and when it comes to vehicles, not the mechanical stuff, he knows how to fix them up.

It was a nice pretty Sunday to get that job done. What do you do with your Sunday afternoons?

Just Some Pictures of us

Sharing some experiences from School

     I am writing this blog about how life is so unpredictable and I am not sure how to explain it so easily. How could I possible explain life? I am not a scientist. Science was one of my worst subjects in school. So I thought I would just share some experiences I had from school. About why I do the things I do and why I am the way I am.



     School was hard for me in more ways than one. It was hard to learn things. I also found it hard to make friends and to be a friend. I was bullied on more than one occasion. I can only remember bits and pieces of my early years in elementary school. One of my first memories is from Kindergarten. I believe we lived in North Carolina at this time. The class was in a building all by itself a short walk away from the main school building. I remember these large people balloon's that were actually letters of the alphabet. Each letter was made to look like either a boy or a girl. Like the letter "B" was a boy with sneakers and a baseball cap. I remember seeing cardboard cutout letters above the chalk board. My memories of everything else have vanished. I don't know if I cried everyday or if I was happy?


     Another little bit I remember in another school was having to wear galoshes over my shoes. We must have lived in Michigan because I remember the snow. I would have to take the galoshes off that fit over my sneakers once I got to my locker outside of our classroom and when we got ready to go home the boots were full of water. I didn't know what to do with the water so I would just keep the water in the rubber boots. My shoes got soaked in the boots on the ride home on the bus. The first friend I remember was a little Spanish girl. We played together at recess. One school day morning, she was standing next to her mother, who was yelling at our teacher in Spanish. I couldn't understand a word she said but I knew something bad must have happened for her to be yelling in that tone of voice. This became instilled in my spirit and soul, I didn't want my mom to come to the school to yell at my teacher. My Spanish friend was embarrassed and I felt embarrassment for her. 


     Later on, I do remember some of third grade in Michigan. We had just moved again and I remember it as a big school hiding behind some trees off of the main highway. It was the first time I saw a school that went up instead of out. It was a mile high to me which is only about three stories now. I remember being lost and confused. I couldn't remember the whereabouts of my classroom nor could I remember my teacher and what kids were in my class. My big sister had to escort me every morning to my classroom. When I would ask to go to the bathroom, I always returned to the wrong classroom.  I had no clue most of the time and I remember crying. Luckily there were other girls who knew where I was supposed to be. I'm not sure why I couldn't remember things that happened from day to day. Unless something significant happened, I was just one lost puppy.  One of the worst experiences I had in school happened at this school. At recess, I would usually slide down the big slide with the boys.  It was the boys slide. I liked to be where it was mostly boys even though they would laugh at me when my butt hit the ground. At other times I would play on the large tractor tires. There were two tires. They were so big about 10 kids could stand in the middle and you could even crawl into the insides to hide. One of the tires was for the third graders like me and the other one for the fourth graders. I would play with the fourth grade girls because they were nicer to me. The fourth grade girls taught me to play a game called "Guess who?" One girl would be in the middle and close her eyes. All the other girls would walk around the tire top as the girl in the middle grab's at shoes and guesses who she was based on her shoes. It was fun until one day I was walking around the top and some boy decided he wanted to take over the tire that day. After he got onto the tire, all of the girls jumped down to run but I just stood there like a dummy. He pushed me backwards knocking the wind out of me onto the hard ground. All I can remember is looking up to see the most gorgeous boy in third grade hovering over me. He had curly, dirty blond hair with a pair of light blue eyes. I was in pain but all I could think about was how this boy who didn't know I existed was probably thinking I was so stupid for not running. This embarrassing episode became embedded into my soul. I remember mom and dad picking me up in their VW Bug. I stayed home 3 days, when I returned to school I found out that boy only was suspended for one day. I made sure I stayed clear of him and I stopped playing with the boys on the slide. I stopped playing with the girls on the tires. I would just find a place to sit and watch all the other kids play and watched the curly haired boy playing and walking around at recess with his friend. I don't know what happened to him. I can't even tell you him name but I was smitten with blond hair blue-eyed boys from that day on.



     I don't know how long I went to that school nor do I know exactly where it was in Michigan. We moved a lot so making friends became hard until we finally settled in Sheridan. I can remember most of the things that happened since I started fifth grade. One of the most disturbing things that happened to me was being bullied by other girls in my grade all through out fifth through eight grade. There was this group of three girls who decided that I wasn't good enough. Well, actually I don't know what was on their minds, all I know is they didn't like me. They called me names and teased me. I don't think they ever hit me but their words were like swords into my soul. They would follow me around on the play ground until one day I finally got tired of their harassment. I found a teacher to let her know what they were doing. She gave them a few choice words. After that day they never bothered me again - at least not on the playground. That was not the last time I was bullied. 
     In sixth grade, a whole group of us girls hung out at recess in this one spot but one day things changed. I took the side of the girls when a majority of the girls in the group told me I couldn't be their friend if I was friends with her. I became disliked by all of them.  Like me, she was also bullied for being different. I learned that to fit into the group I had to be liked by the majority. The majority in this little town came from rich families. They wore nice and pretty clothes. Unlike me, who wore hand me downs or clothes from the dollar store. I learned to remove myself from the majority because I was judged on my appearance. I do care about my appearance on the outside but those who know me see my appearance on the inside. I try not to judge others based on their outward appearance because I was judged for what I looked like and not on who I was on the inside. Being shunned by a group of girls whom I thought were my friends ingrained into my spirit the will to be who I am and not be a numb less soul who goes with the flow.

These are just a few things that happened that shaped me into the person I am today.

It's been a long time.

Yes, it's been a  long time. But I have been unable to post anything at home, I lost my internet connection. But that's okay, I am at the library on my sons old laptop. I got him a new one and I took his old one. You may wonder why I would get him a new one and not keep it for myself? Well, I wonder why too.

Things have been so busy with my mom being in and out of the hospital and things going crazy at work. I am writing this from my local public library and  things in Arkansas have been going totally weird with the weather. (Trying to type this on a laptop is not easy with the curser moving on me. Uhgg)

I wanted to post something totally out of the blue and inspiring and well worth reading but I guess I have lost it. I want to post stuff about work but can't find the right words to describe what I do without totally giving away things that shouldn't be talked about. I want to post stuff about home and my crazy family so I think I will do just that.

Well, I think I will stop for now. American Idol starts in about 10 minutes and it takes 20 just to get home.

Pants on the ground.
Pants on the ground.
Hat turned sideways.
Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.