It's just a Friday

Friday. You may be wondering why I am able to write on a Friday since I work. Well, I work four tens so I get this day to do all the stuff, like going to the doctor, that I need to do without taking off to build time up. I do love it. I really don't want to give it up unless I got a better paying job. I really love my job. I have been doing it for ten years now. Seems like a long time but it is interesting. Things change. People come and go but I have somehow managed to become stagnet. So maybe what I do is where I need to stay becasuse the more I try to get away the more attached I have become to my work. Can you feel this way about your job? Do you feel this way about your job? Have you ever felt this way about a job? I think it is mostly because I am able to do this - blogging - blogging about life, blogging about things I find, blogging about blogging. And also writing - writing stories - writing things and finding out how people respond to me - as a person who wrote a story. So my job satisfaction is high. So my marriage satifaction is high. So my family life, well it could be better. Two out fo three ain't bad.

So it's just a Friday. One good thing is I get to spend time talking to my mom. I have learned a lot from her but mostly I have learned I am just like her. I talked with her on the porch under a waterhose while washing my little doggies. Since I got this laptop, I have no use for my desktop except to play games. I set it up in the dinning/utility/closet/junk room on my computer desk I can't fit in our room anymore. I showed her how to use WordPad. She said she will sit down and write out her life. I look forward to reading what she writes and help her edit it or whatever. I may even try to publish it. If my high school english teacher can write about her life, why can't my mom or even me?

So that's all I got to say today. I am going to borrow a movie from Serina because there sure isn't nothing good on tv.

Whatcha Doin' Wednesday

After reviewing other peoples blogs, it seems they try to make a theme about the days of the week. So I am going to call this Whatcha Doin' Wednesday's.

So what cha doin'?

What am I doing? Wondering what I am going to do. I went to work today. Came home, ate and now I'm on here looking at facebook and checking my email.

Maybe I'll post links of things I find interesting. Maybe I'll post videos. Maybe I'll just talk about things on my mind. I'm not sure right now.

Check back with me and I'll get back to you.

Do you have a suggestion for me? Leave me a comment. Please?

A need to rant a little

Hello world,
   I have come to the conclusion that my life is what it is and I can't change it. I have to take what I am given and make the most of it. Trying to change is hard work and I have failed in so many areas it is pitiful. I want so much to give you the facts but because there is this nag in the back of my head saying "If you complain, you will get in trouble. If you tell the world exactly how you feel, you will be condemned." You may call this your conscious or unconscious. What ever it is, I wish that the fear of what is saying is true wasn't true.
     How can I tell you about me in truth? I was not the little girl in the dress who participated in beauty pageants. I wasn't that straight A popular girl. I also wasn't a tomboy by no means. I didn't wear a dress but playing with cars in the dirt with my little brother or we sat at the kitchen table where mom would spread out flour for us to make roads. Either way it was hard to get the cars clean. The dirt turned to mud and the flour to doe. So my truth comes out in the stories I tell.
     I can tell a lie with in the truth of a story so much that you may think that it really happened to me but did it really? I can write a story but I can't tell you a story. I can't talk to you and tell you a lie. Ain't that funny? Lying on paper is not a lie but if I speak it - I will be imprisoned by my own nag.
     So what are writers? Writers are liars. Writers stretch the truth and make it so twisted that it turns into a lie. I am just talking about fiction writers not nonfiction - to clarify myself. So if a writer tells a story that is a lie and I write stories does that make me a liar?
     To write truth is nonfiction. I speak the truth but write fiction. I can tell you on paper words that my heart can only wish was true. I used to have a bad habit of writing things to my ex. I say it was a bad habit but I had a hard time talking to him. I would write him notes and leave it next to him when he slept. When we fought and he slept on the couch, we were both to stubborn so I wrote. He wrote me back. Communication in words didn't seem to work for us. I can't remember what I wrote or he wrote to me but I'm sure it was some hurtful stuff. Communication is words was not something I was good at in school either. I would challenge myself not to talk all day but I would get called upon by the teacher to answer a question and that was that. But I was able not to communicate with my peers. I didn't want to talk and found it easy to do. Nobody noticed me anyways. So that's how I found writing.
     My son is just the opposite. Like his father - he can tell you how the cow eats cabbage. He can explain the theory of anything. Writing is not his thing. So are you a writer or a talker? Tell me is it really so bad that I am a writer and not a talker? If I could be like Emily Dickinson, I would. I didn't discover her poetry until college. I had to read "I heard a fly buzz by". She cut herself off from the world and wrote poetry. I'm not a poet and I know it. So now you know a little more about me and this is the truth, all nonfiction.
     I'm not a princess although I did believe in White Knights to come save me.
     I'm not a nerd although I maybe able to convey the hint that I am in my wordiness.
     I'm not a model although my husband would argue with you. I'm just a BBW.

     I am a thinker. I am a liar on paper (computer). I am a dog lover, cats are okay but they aren't as loyal. I am a woman who doesn't cover her feelings, if you hurt them I will let you know. I am a perfectionist but putting things off until later works better for me if it's not a crisis. And I guess the final question is do I believe in GOD? Do I think I will go to Heaven or Hell? Do I believe in ghost? Do I believe in spirits? These are all good questions and my answer is yes and no. How can I believe in a GOD without believing in Heaven, Hell, ghost and spirits? I think I will let this be a topic for another day.

And one more thing, don't lie to me or I'll never believe you again.