In Memory of my little Red

     I have been thinking a lot lately and that hasn’t been good for my emotional spirit. I lost my little doggie of ten years and the loss is something hard to get over. I haven’t had a melt down cry yet. I have memories of him and little things he used to do that just make me wish he was still here.

     I have been making sweet tea for years and when he heard me fill up a pan for water he would come running and start barking. I couldn’t make the tea fast enough. He would want it and it had to be fresh. I couldn’t give him any that was cold from the Frigidaire.

 He just couldn't wait. 

     It’s little things like that that make me wish he was still here. It is also way he would eat peppermints. I would get peppermints from Sonic and save them for him. And there is the field mice. The mice come in the house from the cold and he would leap off the bed onto the floor just to sniff them out to see if he could get them.


     He was a little dog and we gave him a good burial. He was hit by a vehicle and his back was paralyzed. The poor thing couldn't have lived a doggy life. He died chasing a female. Male dogs only know two things – food and tail. If he hadn’t died from chasing tail he probably would have died from the food he ate. I spoiled him rotten. I gave him tea, sugar and sweets. I spoiled the little animal and he loved us no matter what.


     Eugene said one thing that I never really thought about and that was “I hope Red ain’t mad at us.” When he said that I really didn’t think that Red could be mad at us because he loved us no matter what. I didn't think a dog like him would have any reason to be mad at us for letting him go like that.


     Maybe he could be mad at us for letting him go like that. I’m not sure. He was just a little doggie with doggie emotions. He had a doggie brain. He didn’t have a conscious like humans do. At least not that I know of. 

Can doggies have a conscious? 

Do they know good from bad? 

     You can teach them good from bad with reprimands and such but then you can also teach them bad from good by rewarding the bad.

Can I really say that Red won’t be mad at me for letting them put him to sleep?

     I am just glad that I did get to spend a little bit more time with him eventhough he wasn’t himself. I got to hold him on the way to the vet. They put him in a box for us. 

If it is against the law for a human to let the doctor put another human to sleep then why isn’t it against the law for a dog owner to put their animal to sleep?

We see dogs as being our property. 

What if they really aren't our property?

     What if they have a conscious but because they are dogs they just can’t tell us because their evolutionary development stopped them from talking to us. 

Do animals have a conscious?

     When a dog looks in a mirror they may see another dog but they don’t know that it is them. They don’t have that realization. They don’t have that awareness about them.

     Our consciousness is in us. Awareness is on our surface and around us. Dogs don’t have that consciousness so I wonder if they have an awareness of others around them. I believe that they are not aware of themselves.


     When we had to make that decision to let the vet put him down and we spend a few minutes saying good bye. I could see it in him that he was feeling our grief. He was feeling our emotions. He knew something was wrong but as a little doggie there was nothing he could do about it. I’m sure he was aware that we were totally upset but didn’t understand. 

Oh GOD, I hope there is a doggie Heaven and that we will see our pets again.

    Even as a dog I think he had a spirit. It was his spirit that touched our lives. His spirit interacted with ours and we became attached. I took a couple of pictures of him before they laid him down. It seemed his life was drained from him. I could see it in his eyes that he was not the same little doggie.

     Yes, we knew we would lose him one day but I figured it would be from old age. We can’t blame anyone. He was a doggie doing doggie things and that is just something that happens. Even as I try to write down all my thoughts, the tears just flow from my eyes. As my mental awareness and self awareness see the big picture, I know that I knew it was bound to happen. I want to critsize myself for thinking that I let it happen. If I have power to control animals then, …let me rethink this a minute . . . I have a mouse by my bed that is making a lot of noise and if Red was here he would be on the floor trying to get it.


     Red was a good dog. And I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to love an animal. Since now it has been one week, I have noticed that my female, Lulu has really taken up with me a lot more. She knows he is gone (I think) and has been by my side a lot more. I'm not sure if it is because Red isn't here to take up my lap time from her. I think the love from my Lulu has helped me. She is my little black and brown weenie dog. She loves to have her belly rubbed and be held like a baby like Red did. 


     So I can tell all you dog lovers out there that it is good to have more than one dog because when one dies unexpectedly like Red did then if you have another one to take up the emptiness - it won't be so hard to on your emotional self.


     I am glad that I took lots of pictures and I even have videos for memories. Red maybe gone and won't be here to drink the first glass of tea or bark for Eugene's chicken but the memories we have will make us smile. But the most important memory I have is the one where he demanded to go "bye bye" with us in the truck. He would get up behind our heads and hang out the drivers side window and bark nonstop until we got there. The place he loved to go is where we buried him which happens to be down on our land where will be living soon. I have a piece of concrete that I have painted his name on and his birth date and date of death. I know this will be the first of many.

So all I can say now is that I hope that we will see our pets in the hereafter. I got to believe that.