Hi everyone, I am spending the day at my brothers house hanging out with my sister-in-law Arleen. My brother is at work so it is just us and her son, Chaz. I forgot the power cord on my computer so I am having to use my brothers lap top. I had brought my desktop computer over here so I could get the updates from her wireless internet but I had problems booting it.
It is an Acer and still covered under warranty. I called customer service and we tried to trouble shoot it over the phone but nothing worked. The power light came on the desk top and it acted like it wanted to boot but failed. Also the monitor received no signal and the keyboard had no lights on it either when I punched the Num Lock Key. So after trying all these different things to make it work - it didn't. Turns out the Motherboard is gone. I thought I might be having problems before but I guess it just totally went when I moved it. So I hope my hard drive is okay because I have a lot of information on it. And I didn't have it backed up. I had bought Brandon a T1 external hard drive but he never backed up my system. So now, I have to send it by Fed-ex to Texas. I have to pay the shipping but they will fix it and mail it back to me good as new.
I have been off work the past couple of days. Doing cleaning at home but I still have a lot to do. I needed time off. I have been working really hard so this is a welcome break. I took Eugene to work so I could get some coffee and picked the boys up some donuts. The boys include my son, Brandon, and his friends - Jonathan, Big Brandon and Michael. Big Brandon is Brandon's friend, Dillions, older brother, who drives by the way, and then there is Jonathan. Jonathan is another long story and also Michael, aka Red, he is actually the son of a girl I went to school with who I did not know personally because she was in one grade lower than me. So then, Arleen came to the house and followed me back to Eugene's work so we could go together to Pulaski Tech. I want to go back to school this fall. I got some paperwork and I have to get my transcript from UAM. Hopefully I won't have to take some of the classes over again.
I want to take some classes in Office Supervision and Management. I hope it can help me further my career. I don't know why but I am one of those people who just loves to learn new things. I have my job pretty much mastered and I have learned a lot about how to learn. Learning on the job is something they don't teach you in school. School can give you the education about knowing things but actual job experience gives you the how and why of what works and applying those things you learned.
I am not usually the type of person who talks about themselves but blogging is giving me the opportunity to tell you about me and who I am. (Tooting my own Horn) I am always striving to be a better person. I am always looking for new ways to put the old me behind me.
Who was I? I was Shy. I was embarrassed. I felt I was not good enough. I felt I was not pretty enough. I felt like I was talked about badly. I was scared to talk to strangers. I was afraid of different kinds of people. I kept things to myself.
I think that my mind still tells me I am some of those things but my spirit is telling me differently. I am still shy to an extent and now if people want to talk about me, I think that is a good thing, because it keeps them from talking about other people. I don't mind people talking about me as much as I used to. It used to make me paranoid to know people shut up when I entered a room because they were talking about me.
I wanted to write a little story about how you are talked about and the fact you may not even know it but when I sat down to write - I couldn't think of a thing to say. Do you know that complete strangers maybe talking about you and you wouldn't even know it. Scary huh?
I am also going to tell you about what I mean when I say my spirit is telling me differently. Maybe it is the fact that I am at Arleens house and on the way to Pulaski Tech she was telling about how the spirit is now opening doors at her house. I am sitting here in her living room and I have only experienced one thing a month or so ago. My brother was sitting in this very chair and I could smell cigarette smoke. Nobody smokes in the house. She said she was sitting on Chaz's bed the other day watching him play his game when his door opened on it's own. She says her printer will just turn off on it's own when she is in the middle of printing something. She also said that he (the spirit) likes it when his daughters (my sister and I) are here. Now can you know these things? and how do you know if they are true or not? Some people would not believe it and think it is totally scientific and there is a reason but others would be like "totally awesome."
Me, I am a sceptic. Except this one time I had this experience and it was so totally real. I have a half brother that is also a cousin. (Long story) He lives in Illinois and has a wife with three children. They came to visit us some years back when we lived on Olive Street in North Little Rock. This house we rented with my mom was definitely haunted. Arleen saw things. Brandon saw things. and I experienced a few other things myself. But this one night was totally an experience I will never forget. It was their last night before they had to head north. I had not had the opportunity to just sit down and visit with Darrin (my half brother) until their last night. We talked about lots of things but when he talked and I tried to concentrate on his words all I could hear in my head was the words "I LOVE YOU" Darrin talked about growing up, fishing, and other things but it was like this voice was so loud and I could only hear certain things he said. He sat there and smoked cigarettes like dad used to. He sat in the chair like my dad used to. His mannerisms was so my dad but if you put us side by side, we probably look more like twins. And also more alike than my sister and me and my brother and me.
So based on that one experience alone I should not be a sceptic. But that is not the only experience I have had. My dad would come back in my dreams too. He appeared younger and youger everytime and always came to take my mom away. My sister and my brother had dreams about him too. Also when my father-in-law, Leo, died, which is Eugene's father, I used to drive to Monticello and when I passed the cemetary where he is, I would have to stop. Some how he talked to me when I drove alone. So I shouldn't be a sceptic.
So this is my life. A life I want to share with the world. I want to know how other people are and that I am not different but in reality I am. I do things backwards. I think to hard. I want to be liked by everyone. I want to get the most out of everyday.But deep down inside, this spiritual side of me knows there is more to life. I don't seem to be tested as much as others like my classmates, one of which has died at 42, another when we were in 12th grade, and another who has been diagnosed with cancer for the second time.
So what else could I possible say that would make you like me? Nothing, take me as I am. I am who I am and if you don't like me. "Oh well, you'll get over it."
